5, 6 Pick Up Sticks

Days 5 an 6 of the Big Sit were certainly challenging....but for very different reasons. Day 5's sit was Friday night after dinner and day 6 was late morning after Yoga.

Day 5 was strangely the better of the two. I've been sitting in the evening, mainly because my body isn't quite flexible enough early in the morning to comfortably sit. My evening sits are after work, dinner and dinner clean up so it's really a change of pace to sit. Mentally it usually takes a few minutes to settle in from being active and engaged to sitting and being mindful. Physically though it is much easier, my body is quite relaxed and ready to just settle in.

On Friday, I actually was surprised to wind up cooking (I hadn't expected it), but after the initial jolt of changing pace to cooking mode, I did loose my edge and settle nicely. Dinner actually came out very well, best batch of potato pancakes I think I've made. Clean up was pretty easy and then a quick shower, shave and ready to sit. But was sitting ready for me?

I generally sit in our closet, is that a bit strange? Maybe, but the closet provides an escape from the menagerie that is normally home life (wife, teenage daughter, 2 dogs, 2 cats). So I go up to the closet and my daughter is in the shower and the boom box is blaring. OK, now this is going to be a challenge. We'll if Noah Levine can meditate in chaos, well hey, then so can I.

What a surprise, the noise was actually easy to tune out, I didn't pay any attention to it, just my breath. My breath concentration was the best it has been yet, and my body was very relaxed. twenty minutes felt like 10 and it just flew by.

Day 6, in contrast was so difficult to settle. That was surprising also, because I had been to yoga in the morning, I was very relaxed and stretched out and my mind was really very still. When I went to sit however, I settled right in for about the first 7 or 8 minutes, then it was a fight. Total fidgeting, couldn't sit still.

Maybe it was the unrealistic expectation of having been to yoga and being calm, just couldn't live up to it. So Days 5 & 6 were certainly a Yin / Yang experience, that the more I think about, seems clear to be the result of differing expectations.

Day 5, low expectations, high distraction level but good sit.
Day 6, high expectations, low distraction level, poor sit.

Maybe the sits were actually the same, I just perceived them differently. A lesson to ponder perhaps........

Yes Dear

Early on in our marriage my wife and I had a conversation where she explained a little bit about the different natures of Mars and Venus. It had to do with our interactions after we came home from work and we both settled in to make dinner, deal with the kid, pets, house etc.

The basic point of the conversation was that, when she came home she needed to tell me certin things about her day. These things may have been something funny, or something that irked her, or some problem she ran into. Invariably, I would try and offer my take on her issues, offering suggested ways to solve the problem.

Mistake!

She didn't, doesn't, will never want any information of this nature during these venting, decompressing, ranting episodes. Maybe later, but not now, not unless she asks. Just listen........that's all, just listen and be there.

In the beginning this was so very difficult, but over the years I have gotten better at this. I have come to refer to this as our "Yes Dear" time. We have together time, private time, alone time to name a few....and we also have "Yes Dear" time. On some of these occasions she will rant about stupid Co-workers or customers or her boss. Yesterday a customer, nothing particularly spectacular about this tale when compared with the many that have preceded it, but this one was special.

She called him a "FuckHead".

Went on to make many grandiose statements about his Fuckheadedness and other fuckheads, but generally, was overwhelmed but his extreme Fuckhead act of that day.

In her honor I will now create a new series of posts, in the vein of Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be A Redneck" shtick, we now have "You might be a fuckhead...."

We also have a special "You Might Be a Fuckhead" award.




So to wrap this up here's the first of probably many honoree's.

"If you try to return a recalled food product with only the receipt because you have already eaten the entire freakin' box of food that was recalled.........
You Might Be a Fuckhead!"

Oh yeah, by the way, Big Sit Day 4 last night was the best yet, 15 minutes before antsyness set in. A Real Good Sit.

Three, It's a Magic Nmber

Three Up, Three Down.

Starting to get into a rhythem here. Getting easier to feel my breath. Feel good.

Looking forward to #4 tomorrow.

:)

With a Little Help From My Friends

Not that two days in it was needed, but there was a little help from my friends last night. Been going to a regular meditation group sitting on Tuesdays for a month or so now, and last night was Day 2 of the Big Sit. The meeting was good, a nice 10 minute Dharma talk before the meditation and then some sitting.

The talk was on Impermanence, something everyone needs a little more touch of in our daily lives in my view. Just a little nod to the fact that things have changed, things are changing and things will always change. Don't get too attached to the here and now, it won't last.

At the same time, knowing it won't last, savor the moment. Appreciate it........

"For, we may never pass this way again......"

Started !!

Well, 1st day of the Sit, first day of Sitting. A little unsure about myself, this is all very new to me. Lot's of readings and listening, at places Tricycle, Shambala Sun, Audio Dharma and many other places. There is lots of good information out there. But there are certainly many different ways of sitting.

Meditation sure can be lots of different things. The most prevalent instruction / descriptions that have come across seem to be awareness of the breath and mindfulness. That's what the first attempt today involved.

Just mind on the breath...
mind on the breath...
mind being aware.....
oh, there's a thought......
what is it.......
OK, that's it.....
let it go.....
be aware.....
another thought.....
let it go......
another thought....
another thought....
let it go.....
let them all go.....
breath.....
mind on breath.....
breath.....
mind on breath.....
mind on being aware.....

Eyes open, time to rise.

Good job self.......
wait, no self......
More tomorrow.....

:) :) :)......
be aware......

Gotta Get Back To This Place

I've been neglecting this site. So figured I'd kick start it for myself.

I signed up today for the Big Sit over at Tricycle Magazine. Committing to 90 days of daily meditation, the 16 precepts, studying the Genjokoan, ........

Glad this came up, I've been looking to jump start myself, and just like Yoga a year ago, I think this is just the ticket. I'm going to do this (that's a statement).